Mindfulness is about paying attention to the quality of your existence in the present moment. Or so I read somewhere.

Being mindful of my existence I have decided to quit smoking, for good. This is now a decision that, having been taken, will prove the harder to carry out successfully because it has been taken while I still sort of like the act of smoking. It is not a decision based on health as there is no smoking effected illness in me.

It is a decision based on the mental difficulty it will entail. I am not addicted to tobacco, but to the act of smoking. There is a linkage which I have been breaking gradually over the last couple years which has to do with physicality of smoking. I like the movement. I like the contemplative act of lighting up a ‘real’ cigarette or rolling up a loose tobacco one – like the beginning of a dance. I like the cig between my lips – the texture, the tongue teeth lips manipulation of the thing, the weight. I like the decision-making process of when to inhale/exhale, how, how long for e.t.c. I like the fact of using, whether a cigarette holder is involved or not, just using two fingers in the maneuvering of the object permitting an allowable show of dexterity if that hand should be called into another action, say writing this blog. It is fantastic!. A pleasurable exercise.


And no I do not do dope. I tried many moons ago and could only do the wacky baccie a few times a week as a social interact and literally forget about it otherwise. Actually I was not even good at the social aspect, as I remember doing a joint or part of one passed around and then refusing more, thereby arousing suspicion. It is not, smoking a spliff that is, a ‘contemplative’ exercise and smoking a ciggie is.

For me, a joint is like a good stiff drink, or glass of wine. Something to round off an occasion or augment it. I love the mellow relaxed feeling that these offer, but it is not something I can take to on a daily regular basis. I tried. Perhaps I might shift to wacky baccie once I kick the cigs. That could be a weekly thing to do to incur the chagrin or snub nose of some, just for the fun of it. I am old enough now to begin to be amused by deliberately offering the chance to take offence, to some self-righteous prigs who think having a spliff or drink or cig or not wearing underpants a sign of depravity or loose morals.

Moderation is always the byword. There are quite a few people who have sunk into the mire of oblivion and decay by becoming obsessed by their own apparent superiority or inferiority (of taking stuff/being part of the scene or gang) to the point where they do these things as a form of self-approbation and cannot distinguish their persona further. Their view of themselves as a superior or inferior to others outside the clan is so blown up as to outsize reality and create a type of celebrity status mindset which they would die maintaining rather than face the truth.


A decision based on the mental difficulty it will entail is perhaps fitting for me right now. To quit for good rather than stop for a specific length of time as I may have done occasionally in the past, leaves no room, no open door, for error. I will have to be purposed and focused.

Therefore, I must have an objective or valid reason which accords with my heartfelt desire concerning my quality of existence for the future as well as the now. Paying attention to that quality in the present moment is not enough for my idea of mindfulness. It must be in every present moment and be habitual in its ability and desire to achieve good.

The mental difficulty I will entail is the knowledge that I will be forgoing a physical pleasure. That is, it is not a mental difficulty, but a truly physical one. I shall have to retrain my BODY. At my age and having enjoyed this physical aspect for around thirty years and truthfully not having any physicality going on elsewhere is harder than forgoing sex was. Pray for me.

My objective or valid reason is the necessity to have what I call “a physical aspect ratio of 1”.

No physical pleasure in anything that is not naturally required.

The dance can no longer be performed.

New Year'S Day, Sylvester, 2022, Sunset, Gull, Heaven

So on to the future.

Happy New Year!

P.S. I am consciously aware that even going through the motions without lighting the cigarette is not quitting, as I do this, but it is the act which must cease. Once the act is terminated, the part of my brain/mind which is used to direct it will be available for some other act, though not necessarily pleasurable. Or maybe, only, it will get a deserved rest. – physical aspect of 1.


google defines mindfulness two ways:

“The quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.” and “A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.”

Physical Aspect Definition

Might also check The Physical Aspect


    • Thank you Rosaliene. It is necessary . I noticed from a blog I read that New Zealand is banning smoking for anyone born 2008+ I don’t advocate smoking and decided to do it when I was about 33yrs. Stopped on and off by choice regularly (testing) til now the decision is to quit. Got bored in a way 😂

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